Results of my Doctors Appointment…

First I must apologize for this being late I had forgotten that I had neck injections the very next day and they always knock me for a loop.

So I spoke to my doctor about the pain in my neck even though I was due for injections there was more pain on the right side where the arthritis is worse and there is a catching over there to the point that sometimes it catches and I have to work my neck to make it let go and many times there is an audible pop when it does let go along with pain. So he decided to do some trigger point injections along with the deep injections to help with the pain the catching is something I am going to have to live with at least for the time being. He doesn’t want me going under general anesthesia anytime in the near future because I have had pneumonia twice in 6 months. The trigger points will at least help with the pain although I had them on Friday I still cannot tip my head to far to the right, but there is still a lot of swelling back there and I am starting to feel like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

We also talked about my back and the last injections he did back there and that not only did they not work all that well, but they caused another really annoying pain. It goes from my lower back and shoots around the front of my hip into my pelvic area and it is quite sharp at times. So he wants to try it again and fix the pain going into my pelvis at the same time. Now some might wonder why I would let him do it again if it didn’t work and caused another problem. Well it is pretty simple nerves don’t always behave as expected and he also has to find the right sympathetic ganglion nerves to deaden and sometimes it takes me more than once to deaden them completely. When you are in pain all the time two things you need to learn is patience and the other is to trust your doctor because if you don’t trust your doctor then you have no business wasting their time. Now that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask question or have a say in what happens to your body, but they did go to school for a lot of years and train to do what they do.

Next was my knees they have been so painful lately and I told my doctor it feels like there are sharp marbles under my kneecaps and if you can imagine that you will have an inkling of how painful it has been for me to walk. Part of the problem is these stupid cold fronts that keep coming through I no more than start healing from one and another one is on it’s way here and then the pain cycle gets ramped up once again. The other problem is the damage my knees sustained in 1992 during a car accident. We hit another car doing 55mph and the guy sitting behind me in the backseat did not have his seat belt on and so on impact he hit the back of my seat ripping the bolts through the floor of the car. My right knee slammed through the glove box door shattering the door and damaging the meniscus in my knee ( the meniscus is the thin layer of cartilage on the ends of your bones that help your knee joints to move smoothly and protect the ends of the bones from damage.) my left knee didn’t fair as well because it slammed into the dash shoving my radio all the way to the firewall and the meniscus on the ends of each bone exploded and I no longer have a meniscus in that knee on either bone. So that knee has been rubbing bone on bone since 1992 and it has taken a toll I have bone spurs and a ton of inflammation and inflammation translates to lots of pain. The bad thing is I am unable to take oral anti-inflammatory drugs because they make my body swell so I go between corticosteroid injections and Synvisc injections (Synvisc is a fluid like what a healthy knee produces for lubrication but much thicker so it is done once a week for three weeks.) I have had great results with the synvisc the last time being pain free for a whole year, but the state doesn’t want to pay for it again even though it works better than the steroids and doesn’t mess with my diabetes like the steroids do.

He also let me keep the muscle relaxer Soma even though it is habit forming it is the only thing right now that is working on these hellish back spasms because no one should cry while doing a few dishes or folding clothes. So until next time God’s blessings to you all! Prayers and comments are always welcome just please behave like the adults you are!


Doctors Appointment Tomorrow…

I go for my monthly visit tomorrow which I do every 28 days whether anything has changed or not and that is because I take an opiod pain killer which most call narcotics and I don’t like it, but then if I want to function at all it is a must. I take the lowest possible dose because I don’t want to be a zombie because that would be just as bad as the pain because I would be so out of it I wouldn’t be able to function anyway. So I feel pain everyday all day long so it is more of keeping the pain to a tolerable level opposed to killing it completely.

I have to tell my doctor that my knees are acting up again and making it a real pain to stand up and walk because it hurts so bad under my knee caps they don’t want to bend. Also the nerve block he tried in my back did not work either and actually it seems worse now that it was and now I have pain in my pelvic area now that is radiating from my back (sigh) it just never seems to end. I know I am usually much more upbeat than this and I do apologize, but sometimes it just gets downright depressing when nothing works and even at times makes things worse and even adds new pain to deal with.

I am very careful though to never take it out on those around me especially my boyfriend who is always so helpful and understands enough that he never pushes me to do more than I say I can do at the time. As a matter of fact whenever I want to do more than I normally do like walk with him to take out the trash or to go get the mail he always asks if I am sure I want to do that and if I really feel I can without making me hurt more. There has been a time or two it has backfired and I did end up in more pain, but he never said “I told you so.” instead he helps me until I feel better.

Tomorrow God willing I will be back to let you know what has been decided on as the next steps to combat this pain. Prayers and comments are welcome! Be nice and behave like the adults you are! God’s blessing for you all! Be well and treat others as you would like to be treated!

It Has Been Awhile…

I know it has been quite awhile since the last time I have updated this blog. Partly from frustration and partly because my pain would not allow me to sit here long enough to write down my thoughts.

Since the last time I posted I have had my knees injected twice and it isn’t working very well right now because Texas is having bi-polar weather and it will get warm then a huge cold front will blow through and there I go into severe pain. The last time I had to practically drag my right leg because it hurt to put any pressure on it and it did not want to bend either. They just got to where they were starting to feel better and now here comes another cold front.

I also recently had the nerves in my neck burned and I am still not convinced it was actually worth it other than the fact that it got rid of my 5 month long headache. I do still have pain in parts of my neck, across my shoulders, and down between my shoulder blades. My doctor said to give it time because it can take a couple weeks for it to take full effect so we will see. Then yesterday I went and have nerve blocks done in my lower lumbar and  other than some sharp pain the day of it seems to be more of a success than the nerve burning in my neck was.

Medication wise I am pretty much taking the same with the exception of muscle relaxer and that was changed to a stronger one since the other one stopped working. I do have some advice for anyone out there suffering chronic pain. When choosing your pain management doctor do not sign a contract with any doctor that will not listen to you about your pain, about how you want to treat it, and who will not put you in twilight for injections. These injections that are deep hurt like bloody hell and you may still feel it in twilight but it isn’t as bad in twilight because it takes the edge off by relaxing your entire body. Never go with a doctor that wants only to push pills. Now I do take pain medication but dose is low by my choice as I am willing to suffer some pain to keep from being a zombie. You cannot enjoy life if you are constantly in a stupor from tons of medication. I take one for my general body pain, one for nerve pain from my diabetes, and then a muscle relaxer that helps my pain medication work better ( if you have muscle spasms then your pain medications effectiveness is cut in half at the least. Address both pain and spasms and you get much better relief.)

Some more advice here for those in pain I know it hurts but never stop moving. Once you give in to the pain and stop moving your joints will stiffen and then when you do have to move it is going to hurt you even more. Have good posture do not stoop over because it will increase your pain and eventually your back will lock into that position and you will never be able to stand straight again. I force myself to have good posture it doesn’t matter how much it hurts because I know this hurts less than being all stooped over. Do not dwell on your pain because your mind is a powerful thing and if all you do is concentrate on the pain it will amplify it so find things to help take your mind off of it even for short periods will help. It may sound crazy but keep a positive outlook it helps tremendously in managing your pain because if you are always all doom and gloom then your pain is going to feel so much worse. I laugh and smile as much as possible every single day. It also has the added benefit of people wanting to be around you and even help you because face it who wants to be around someone that is always bitter, complaining, and grouchy. You should never ever take out your pain on those around you because it is not their fault you are in pain simple as that and taking it out on them will only drive them from your life.


Peace and God’s blessings for you all! If you have questions by all means please do ask. Be kind and use your manners or your comment will never appear…thank you!

Oh the Frustration…

It is not bad enough that lately the pain in my knees has been through the roof, but then once I get all of my appointments set ( or so I thought) medicaid transportation fails to pick me up for two out of three of my appointments. I could call and make a complaint, however it would go in one ear and out there other and nothing would change and I know this because I filed complaints before. I tried being a responsible adult and gave up driving because I take strong pain killers and so felt it was not safe for me to drive and gave up my drivers license because I would have to decide if I wanted to skip a dose in order to drive or not drive.

Pain is partly kept in control by keeping pain medication at an even level within the body. If I skip a dose then my pain will spike and depending how long it takes me to take that dose I could be in considerable pain. It will then take it longer for me to get into control again and I literally suffer for it. So I decided it was not worth it in order to drive. Most of the time it is not a problem.

I now have an appointment to have my knees done on the 23rd, my neck on the 30th we will see if they pick me up or not. This not only frustrates me but my doctor as well. He is doing his level best to keep as pain free as possible, but cannot give me the procedures if I cannot get to him.

I will post an update and please pray they get their act together so that I can get these procedures done.

God bless!

When it Doesn’t Work it Really Doesn’t Work…

I went the 14th of last month like a good little girl and had my neck injections and once the numbness wore off it was hell. It hurt so bad I was nearly in tears. The days that followed were not the greatest the pain has now calmed to what it was before the injections so I gained nothing from I don’t know when or if he will want to do them again. It would be one thing if it was just my neck that hurt, but that isn’t at all the case. It causes my head to hurt, my upper back, my shoulders, and around my right shoulder blade.

So I throw up my arms (well if I could I would) because I do not know what to do. Do I do it again or not. The last time it took three different sessions to get it right. Well I will let you know when I know!

It Seems my Body Parts Are in Competion to See Who Can Hurt me More…

I have started sleeping in my bed again because I have come to the conclusion that no matter where I sleep something is going to protest about and well I might as well be able to stretch out. I had started sleeping on one of our love seats because sleeping in my bed (brand new still nearly three years now.) caused me a lot of lower back pain because I move a lot in my sleep unless I sleep somewhere that doesn’t allow me to move in my sleep. My outlook is different now though because I feel every joint I have is out to get me so I might as well sleep where I want to.

So here is a sort of break down the bed was making the pain in my lower back worse, the love seat was making my knees hurt worse, and now my neck, shoulder, and shoulder blade are acting up really bad and this is the first time in a long time. I am tending towards it being the love seat simply because I don’t fit and in order to try to give my knees a break from being bent all night I laid on my back placed pillows under my knees to give them some support and that worked okay for my knees, however not so well for my feet. the problem was it placed my feet to high and even though that can be good for water retention it evidently isn’t suppose be done over night. I kept waking up with dead feet and then when circulation starts coming back it also wakes up my diabetic nerve pain.

So as you can see I am pretty much doomed that no matter where I sleep it is going to end up with something hurting worse than the rest. It isn’t as simple as a different kind of bed or mattress because there simply isn’t one single thing that works for everything and each individual thing that works each thing they cannot be brought together in any way I can think of. So then I have to stop and think about what I would rather deal with the most and there is no good answer really. So I decided the bed it is because I feel it is better all around because I can straighten out my legs and I can move around so it has to be good for my circulation and my muscles to not be all bunched up like they have been. Time will tell so say a prayer for me please!

God bless each of you! Comments welcome no attacking anyone verbally or any other way, no foul language. Behave as Jesus would will love, compassion, and love!

Getting Better and Impatience…

I am now at that point in recovery where I am still sick, but I feel so much better I feel I can get up and do whatever I want too and then I end up over doing it and the fatigue comes crushing back like a ton of bricks. I then have to drag myself back into bed and sleep. It is so frustrating it will soon be a month since I was in the hospital as a matter of fact tomorrow will be a month to the day that I entered the hospital and was admitted.

My brain keeps trying to convince my body it is well and my body keeps showing me in various ways that it is not completely healed. Today I will make an appointment with my primary care doctor so that she can go over every thing that happened and get me the referral I need for the pulmonary doctor so I can find out how much if any damage was done to my left lung since it was hit hardest by the pneumonia and if my lymph nodes have returned to normal now or not. I can now take deep breaths without coughing and with out pain. When I am rest I am a lazy breather I breath shallow and slowly and it takes time for me to take a deep breath or two and I am not sure how to improve that since I don’t really think about it and I am certain no one really thinks about it.

I have been trying to wean myself off the oxygen and I do well as long as I am sitting or lying down, but when I get up and try doing things it doesn’t take long for me to get winded and that is one of the things that frustrates me the most because when I am tethered to an oxygen condenser by 14ft of tubing so I can get to my computer and move around some since is not good to stay in one spot all day. When I leave the house I have to carry a small portable oxygen tank over my shoulder or on my back which is annoying and causing my neck, shoulders, and upper back to flare up with muscle spasms and sharp shooting pain. I stay home unless I have a doctors appointment to go to.

That is all of my whining for now lol. God bless you all. Comments are welcome so long as they are civil, no foul language, no arguing no attacking others verbally, be always kind, gentle, and loving just as Jesus would do Himself! Much love from me to you all!

Never Prednisone Never Again…

While I was in the hospital with pneumonia they were giving me Prednisone to reduce the inflammation in my lungs and help to breath easier which it did, however no one warned me about what was going to happen when I was tapered off of it. I have excruciating knee pain it is so bad I can barely walk and if it doesn’t let up by Monday I will be calling my pain management doctor to see what can be done to ease this pain until my body goes back to normal.

My cough is finally getting farther apart with each passing day and that is a good thing because now my muscles around my ribcage and my abdominal muscles can start to heal from nearly a month of muscle tearing cough. I knew it was going to last for awhile after all was healed in my lungs it takes awhile for the inflammation to go away. The oxygen has helped a lot with the healing of my lungs and when I came home with it I fought it I didn’t want to use it, but Dwight convinced me it was best if I gave in and used it and that it would help me to help faster and he was right. I gave in and I now use it most of the day and while I sleep and it really has made a difference so I need to stop being so stubborn lol.

So once I talk to my doctor Monday I will update this with whatever instruction he gives me.

There is Always Something Else to Try to Make me Miserable…

When I was in the ER on the 3rd when I went there with pneumonia and Sepsis (blood poisoning) they gave me a massive injection of a corticosteroid to help my bronchial passages to be able to open up so I could get more oxygen since I at that point I was pretty much suffocating. I was given Prednisone for my entire stay in the hospital and I just finished them off today. So where is this going? My feet and legs up to my knees are swollen with water retention and the skin is pulled so tight it both hurts and itches. I take a water pill but it evidently is not working with this amount of water retention. Now I don’t want to seem to be ungrateful because it is amazing I lived through all of that crap so huge kudos to all the staff at Northeast Methodist hospital in Live Oak Texas…Mad respect for them all!

The fact still remains though that my feet and ankles are nearly twice their normal size and feel like they are going to pop if I move them the wrong way. It might sound strange but the extra pressure from the fluid being retained around my knees are making them hurt even worse and it decided to storm today so yup I feel as though someone is stabbing me up under both kneecaps and is making me walk like I am about 90 years old. Even so I still managed to fry chicken and make me some spinach for dinner. I figure I was going to hurt anyway so I might as well eat a good home cooked meal (doesn’t that just sound crazy?). I also wanted Dwight to have some nice fried chicken when he comes home from work around 2am because he is so sweet, loving, caring, and does his best to take care of me. He has become even more loving and caring not wanting me to do anything. I had explain to him I need to do things even if they are just small things right now or I will lose what is left of my mind lol.

My neck, back, and knee injections have been put off indefinitely because I cannot be put into even twilight sleep with my lungs as they are right now especially since I am still on oxygen and until I can see a pulmonary doctor and be tortured I will be on oxygen. I have to keep reminding myself it has only been 11 short days since I was released from the hospital so I also have to remind myself that I am still not well yet and it is going to be a long time before I am. It is difficult for me dealing with this illness and I am sure most people would do a double take since I am use to dealing with doctors and my pain issues, but that is what makes it difficult because my mind is already so deeply invested in keeping my pain manageable through doctors appointments, injections, medication, and physical therapy ( or the tedious search for things I can do to help strengthen my lower back) that I am just plain getting mentally drained at this point. It is also frustrating that I cannot get my injections because they do help a lot, but I also know it would not be safe at this time so I must maintain patience and know that my doctor is just looking out for my best interest because putting me under even in twilight could make me stop breathing or cause the pneumonia to return with a vengeance which I of course don’t need either to happen. That being said I still want to scream well that is if I could get a deep enough breath to do so which I can’t lol.

I have however been 10 days free of smoking so YaY me!!! I am vaping or some people call it juicing and it is a thousand times safer than smoking. I did my research and I know there are people saying it contains antifreeze but common sense tells me that is not true because if you inhaled that it would cause some pretty bad health issues right away so no there is no antifreeze in e-juice. So that is all for this day I hope all of you are are happy, healthy, and most of all blessed by God!

God bless you all until next time…God willing!

Sometimes Things Take a Turn For The Worst…

So as of my last entry I was going back to see my pain management doctor on June 3rd…well that was the plan but sometimes even the best laid plans are thwarted.

About a week before I was to go back to the doctor excited to get my trigger point shots ( I know excited to get poked across the back with needles crazy right, but it is not so bad and the benefits are great.) Dwight (the love of my life.) started sneezing and I am freaking out a little because I get sick easily since I am diabetic but as a days pass and I haven’t caught anything I decide it is allergies and I began to relax and that was a big mistake that came close to costing me my life.

Late on the first of June he developed a deep cough then about midday on the second I started to cough, I really didn’t feel sick but the cough was getting deeper and my chest felt heavy really heavy so I had Dwight pick up some Mucinex for me and I took some and crawled into bed wanting nothing more than to sleep and for several hours I got just that, but when I woke up not only could I not breath except in shallow breaths anything deep caused several minutes body wracking coughs that ended in vomiting with me shivering from head to foot feverish with clouded mind I tried seek comfort moving from spot to spot for awhile but it wasn’t to be found.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning I was totally exhausted and starting to slip away, however every time I would slump over our little girl kitty Lil Bit would pounce on me yelling at the top of her lungs and when that didn’t work she dug her claws into leg, back, or stomach until I would sit back up. She did this until Dwight came home at 4am as soon as he came in she ran to him trying to let him know I was in danger. So off to the ER I went and that is where the fight for my life started and it was a battle that was waged for hours in the ER before I could be taken to a room.

The diagnoses was pneumonia with my left being nearly full of fluid and phlegm (such a gross word lol) my right lung was about half full and I was suffocating. Once I was stable they had CT scan taken and my lymph nodes in my chest were three times their normal size which explained the 22000 white cell blood count and it was going up still so they took blood from an artery and cultured it and it was positive for blood poisoning ( Sepsis ). That was the last piece to the puzzle and what was killing me quickly.

Before leaving the ER I was given an injection of a massive amount of a steroid like Prednisone that helped with inflammation in my bronchial tube to help open me up to breath better. Then I got my first coctail of IV antibiotics. Once they moved me up to my room it was in intermediate care which for those just leaving ICU and I realized I had (with God’s healing hand) dodged the bullet it yet again.

I am home now but hooked to oxygen for I don’t know how long but I am alive and getting better daily.  I wrote this all out from my phone and I did it because I wanted plead with you all that if you become ill listen your body it will tell you when you are in danger. If had ignored what my body was telling me I would have been dead before from the blood poisoning it ravishes your internal organs pretty quickly and never knew you could even get blood poisoning from pnuemonia so take care of yourselves listen to your bodies.

God bless you all until next time God willing!