The Perils of Pain and I Want to Cut Off my Left Knee…

Well maybe not cutting off my left knee, but there are times when that seems like a really good idea. It is starting to effect my whole right leg because when go to stand and when I walk I make it take most of my weight to keep my left knee from hurting so much. I have no meniscus (the cartilage that normally covers the ends of the bones to keep them from rubbing bone on bone.) and since that is gone the end of my thigh bone rubs against the end of my shin bone which is pretty painful. I now have bone spurs on the ends of each of the bones from rubbing like that for years. These spurs sometimes get caught on each other and lock my knee until I can wiggle my knee around with my hands until they let go and hope one doesn’t break off because that can cause even more damage. So this is why I sometimes dream about cutting off my left knee. It makes it hard for me to stand up and it really frustrates me when I have to have help getting up. Walking through the grocery store wears me out because I try very hard not to limp or show my pain and by the time we get home I am totally wiped out. It is horrible that walking through the grocery can wear me out so much. I am eligible to ride one of their scooters but I don’t and the reason is because I know there are people out there that need it more than I do and would not want to possibly keep them from having one.

Lower back pain is one of the worst pains in the world! I was born missing 5 of my discs between my vertebrae in my lower back and so all of my life I have had some amount of back pain because of this. It however in the past 4 years has gotten so much worse. My trigger point injections wore off and so it hurts to sit, stand, walk, and even lay down at times. I get terrible spasms that at times reduce me to tears and limits a lot of things I can do or the spasms will get pretty bad even though I take muscle relaxers 3 times a day. In order to get more trigger point injections my doctor has to submit what he wants to do and then we play the waiting game to see if they will give him the okay or deny it which can be up to 3 months sometimes longer if he has to appeal their decision. I really hate the fact that non medical people are making choices about my health and during the wait I suffer a lot. I do take pain medication but it doesn’t kill the pain it just dulls it. I take one for bone and muscle pain and one for nerve pain some of that is from diabetes and the other is nerve pain in my feet, hands, and both thighs. Nerve pain can be a tingly pain, sharp shooting pain, dull toothache like throbbing, and a burning pain that literally feels like part of my leg is on fire. I also get trigger point injections in my lower lumbar which helps with both pain and spasms, and then there are the deep corticosteroid injections to help with both inflammation and deep muscle pain. These help keep from having to take more pain medication that what I already do at this point.

Finally there is my neck 3 years ago when I first started seeing my pain management doctor he had x-rays of my neck taken and he said I had the neck of a 90 year old. The arthritis is that bad and so I have Occipital Neuralgia it causes pain on the right side of my head and it feels just like a migraine and I had one of those headaches for 3 months waiting on my insurance to approve the injections I needed to stop the headache.

So right now I am playing the waiting game again for the approval of all the injections I need. Thank you for reading and comments are welcome. Be respectful, no foul language, or attacking me or any other commenters on this blog. Gods blessings and love!


2 thoughts on “The Perils of Pain and I Want to Cut Off my Left Knee…

    • Sorry it has taken me so long to reply as you know pain can lay us up for awhile. I can certainly understand that feeling because most of the time I want to do the same to both of my legs. I just recently had a corticosteroid injection on my right knee, but that will only last at the most a few weeks. I will pray for you and that your pain will be at least lessened. Feel free to comment and share because you are not alone in this craziness of chronic pain. I will check back again soon.

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