I Wonder How it Would Feel if Nothing Hurt…

I would probably think I was dead or someone was playing a huge joke on me. I wonder how it would be to go through my days without worrying about taking my medications on time. How would it be to wake up and be able to get right out of bed? How would be not to stress out over something as simple as standing up and walking. It probably sounds silly that a person could stress out over standing up and walking, however I feel that way right now because the fluid in my left knee is gone again and now it is rubbing bone on bone under my knee cap and feels like someone is shoving a huge pointed blade up under my knee cap. So when I stand up I get this very sharp pain under the inner right side of my knee cap and then with every step I take. I have to live with this until my insurance approves me having the fluid replaced again.

Once they replace the fluid the pain will be much better for about six months to a year. The thing that sucks is getting up at 6AM for three Fridays in a row. In the long run though it is well worth it because it does help with the pain quite a bit. As it stands my knee grinding and bone spurs getting caught on each other is enough to set your teeth on edge. I have had people tell me it cannot be all that bad and another time when I had my thigh and the hollow of my right hip injected a now ex friend actually made fun of me. I was staying with her and I was in a lot of pain and asked her to get something for me so I wouldn’t have to get up. She went and got it then dangled it in front of me saying how bad do you want it, and you must not want it very bad since you won’t get up and get it yourself. With friends like who needs enemies but that is a whole other can of worms.

Hopefully I will not wake up in the middle of him injecting the fluid like I have done before and it hurts so bad it is hard not to move until he is done. He has two anesthesiologists I man and a woman the man isn’t very good at keeping me out or getting my IV in without giving me several bruises in the process, and the lady usually gets in first try. I will however put up with a few minutes of pain for a years worth of nearly pain free walking and standing.