So as much relief as corticosteroids give me it also makes me stay awake pretty much all night for up to a week. Dare I say that even though my lower lumbar feels quite good right now I hate the thought of being awake all night. Oh sure I can watch classic movies and play on the computer, however in the wee hours of the morning it tends to use it’s charm and I will have to watch the movies over because I will have forgotten most of what was in many of them.
I am not ungrateful though it might seem that way but I’m not at all I appreciate my doctor and the fact that he works so hard to keep me as pain free as possible. I just wish a lot of the time there was a way to do this didn’t give me sleepless nights, raised blood sugar, and sometimes a lobster red face and neck. It is all a part of being a person with chronic pain. You have to choose what would be called the lesser of two evils and that is to take the injections because most of the time the benefits far out weigh the temporary side effects.
Another thing to consider are the people in our lives that we love and care for us on daily basis. There are going to be times that we are grumpy and yes even whiny and this is where thinking about those loved ones is very important. No one not even one like me can handle constant grumpiness, or being whiny and yes I do get that way myself from time to time it has to be a very bad day though where all my resistance has been broken down and I literally have a meltdown and these he understands. Happiness is very important to me because sometimes it is a fleeting thing for me, however I do not want to mar his happiness. He gives me so much of himself and tenderly cares for me when I drop my stubbornness long enough to let him. In my mind though these loved ones that never abandons us even in in the times when taking care of us is difficult and seemingly hopeless but they dig in their heels and do what needs to be done and never a thought of leaving us.
Believe me I know pain wears you down but that doesn’t mean that you have to make life miserable for those in your life that stand by you no matter what. I try to never take my my boyfriend miserable I couldn’t stand it if I did. My pain is not his fault and therefore he should never be punished. He is not my waiter and does not have to wait on me hand and foot I also insist on doing anything around the house that I feel that I am able to do. Nothing gives any of us that suffer chronic pain the right to make others suffer as well. No they don’t understand your pain how could they when they don’t and cannot feel it, however most of them do their level best to make us comfortable and to help us at any chance. They need commended not yell at, not having their heads bit off, or called names because they cannot understand you and your pain. As I said of course they can’t so why punish them? Is it because they have better health than you? If that is the case it is petty and cruel and if you continue you may lose them so you can wallow in misery all alone.
I found long ago that laughter is better than tears, happiness is better than depression, and kindness is better than bitterness. If all you ever think about is the pain you will feel it more. Does it make you happy to make someone else miserable just like you? For most of you I would hope the answer is no and for those that said yes then well you deserve to be left in your own misery then maybe you would learn to be humble when someone else gives so much of themselves to make your life a little better and to try to make you comfortable.
Try being nicer, kinder, and think about only happy things they are there I promise if you look hard enough for them. Stop taking those loved ones for granted, stop using them as your own personal verbal punching bag, try for once to think of them before yourself. Kind words, a treat to their favorite food. or something else they would like to do.
My man knows my state of well being by how much I talk because I love talking. So when I become silent he knows I am not feeling well at all and he leaves me be for the most part knowing I what I need is distraction and so he puts on anime that I love or some comedy to help me laugh he treats me with kindness and respect and he deserves nothing less from me. I appreciate him and I let him know that I do as often as I can.
I try to never make his life hard just because mine is and never to take my anger and frustration out on him when he is not the cause.
So think about what I have said here and I hope it makes your life and theirs much better. As I said I understand completely, but they don’t and cannot though they do their best to do that.
God’s blessings on each and everyone of you!