I Sometimes Really Hate My Lower Lumbar…

I recently had a corticosteroid shot in my lumbar and it was feeling amazing so I get the bright idea that I might be able to sleep in my bed instead of on the loveseat. One of the worst ideas I have had and it really frustrates me to no end. I have been sleeping on that stupid loveseat for months and I really really hate it,however it seems to be the only place I can sleep and not wake up just a few hours after going to bed in so much pain I feel as though someone has beaten me me from the waist down with a ball bat. When I sleep on the bed and wake up in pain it hurts so bad I can barely walk.

Some might think it is petty that I get so upset over not being able to sleep in my own bed, but then evidently they have never slept on a loveseat. A loveseat is a very short sofa design for those sitting on it can sit close I am 5′ 5″ tall and a loveseat is less than 5′ in length so I have to choices lay on my side curled up or on my back with my legs and feet sticking up in the air. My body literally is craving to be able to lay down and stretch out with nothing sticking up in the air.

So when I go back to see my pain management doctor I will be able to tell him that unfortunately undid my injection by trying to sleep in my bed of all the places in the world. I am not sure where my treatment will go from here because I cannot have another injection there for 6 months from the day I had the injection. All I know is I want to sleep in my bed and I really don’t think that is too much to ask or an unreasonable request all.

Thank you all for putting up with my whiny rant and God bless you all…

Ugh I Hate Insomnia…

Here I am wide awake and I have an appointment with my pain management doctor lucky my boyfriend wake me and make sure I get there on time. I guess I am going to have to break down and ask him for help in getting to sleep at night and not sleeping the day away. It is just so frustrating and I am not getting good quality sleep and so I am tired all the time but just cannot sleep at night.

Something weird happened after my last lower lumbar injection that went right into my spine. I had been having severe sharp pain in both of my knees and it was very hard to stand up from a sitting position, and to sit back down. Even at rest I would get sharp shooting and stabbing pains in both my knees, however the after the injection the sharp pain in my knees went away. There is still some pain because they are damaged, however the sharp make me tear up pain is gone. I am not sure what the lumbar injection had to do with it so I will ask my doctor to explain that to me because it is as I said just weird to me.

Don’t get me wrong I am very glad it is gone because it makes it easier for me to get my house work and other things done during the day. I am still sleeping on the loveseat in the living room because sleeping in my bed makes me wake up feeling like I was beat with a ball bat. It frustrates me that I have a brand new bed and most of the time I cannot sleep on it. Maybe I need to just do my best to ignore the pain and see if my body can adjust to the bed. It kind of makes sense to do that since I was able to sleep on it when I first got it. So maybe I need to try that starting tomorrow night for about a week and see what happens…will let you all know.

God bless you all!

Second Night After the Injections…

So I didn’t not go to sleep until 10:30 am and I actually felt I could have stayed awake for several more hours, however I did finally sleep for 5 to 6 hours *YAY ME!!!* Now here I am with my computer, a classic movie from the 30’s playing on TV and wondering how late I will be awake tonight.

There is an interesting thing that happened though and I am not sure if it is connected to my injection or not. I have been considerable pain with my knees the past few weeks and even so much at times that my pain medication doesn’t dull it. So yesterday they were still pretty painful at least when I was awake but after awhile I noticed the pain was getting less and by the morning they were no longer hurting. Now usually pain like that does not leave like that without some major help (like having the fluid replaced). I am not sure where my lower lumbar could cause both of my of my knees so much pain and then the injection take it away certainly something I need to talk to my doctor about.

Oh yeah I have a nasty case of steroid flush and this a side effect I haven’t suffered since my very first injection. My face is redder than the first night and my chest is as hot and red as if I was freshly sunburned my arms are thinking about joining the party as is my back and I certainly hope they all stay out of it because I cannot take anymore hot red patches on my body. Almost 2am still not the least bit tired so it is a good thing I have old movies and the internet and of course WordPress for any midnight ramblings after all I have three blogs that could use my attention.

Be well and God Bless!

New Injections and the Insomnia Starts…

So as much relief as corticosteroids give me it also makes me stay awake pretty much all night for up to a week. Dare I say that even though my lower lumbar feels quite good right now I hate the thought of being awake all night. Oh sure I can watch classic movies and play on the computer, however in the wee hours of the morning it tends to use it’s charm and I will have to watch the movies over because I will have forgotten most of what was in many of them.

I am not ungrateful though it might seem that way but I’m not at all I appreciate my doctor and the fact that he works so hard to keep me as pain free as possible. I just wish a lot of the time there was a way to do this didn’t give me sleepless nights, raised blood sugar, and sometimes a lobster red face and neck. It is all a part of being a person with chronic pain. You have to choose what would be called the lesser of two evils and that is to take the injections because most of the time the benefits far out weigh the temporary side effects.

Another thing to consider are the people in our lives that we love and care for us on daily basis. There are going to be times that we are grumpy and yes even whiny and this is where thinking about those loved ones is very important. No one not even one like me can handle constant grumpiness, or being whiny and yes I do get that way myself from time to time it has to be a very bad day though where all my resistance has been broken down and I literally have a meltdown and these he understands. Happiness is very important to me because sometimes it is a fleeting thing for me, however I do not want to mar his happiness. He gives me so much of himself and tenderly cares for me when I drop my stubbornness long enough to let him. In my mind though these loved ones that never abandons us even in in the times when taking care of us is difficult and seemingly hopeless but they dig in their heels and do what needs to be done and never a thought of leaving us.

Believe me I know pain wears you down but that doesn’t mean that you have to make life miserable for those in your life that stand by you no matter what. I try to never take my my boyfriend miserable I couldn’t stand it if I did. My pain is not his fault and therefore he should never be punished. He is not my waiter and does not have to wait on me hand and foot I also insist on doing anything around the house that I feel that I am able to do. Nothing gives any of us that suffer chronic pain the right to make others suffer as well. No they don’t understand your pain how could they when they don’t and cannot feel it, however most of them do their level best to make us comfortable and to help us at any chance. They need commended not yell at, not having their heads bit off, or called names because they cannot understand you and your pain. As I said of course they can’t so why punish them? Is it because they have better health than you? If that is the case it is petty and cruel and if you continue you may lose them so you can wallow in misery all alone.

I found long ago that laughter is better than tears, happiness is better than depression, and kindness is better than bitterness. If all you ever think about is the pain you will feel it more. Does it make you happy to make someone else miserable just like you? For most of you I would hope the answer is no and for those that said yes then well you deserve to be left in your own misery then maybe you would learn to be humble when someone else gives so much of themselves to make your life a little better and to try to make you comfortable.

Try being nicer, kinder, and think about only happy things they are there I promise if you look hard enough for them. Stop taking those loved ones for granted, stop using them as your own personal verbal punching bag, try for once to think of them before yourself. Kind words, a treat to their favorite food. or something else they would like to do.

My man knows my state of well being by how much I talk because I love talking. So when I become silent he knows I am not feeling well at all and he leaves me be for the most part knowing I what I need is distraction and so he puts on anime that I love or some comedy to help me laugh he treats me with kindness and respect and he deserves nothing less from me. I appreciate him and I let him know that I do as often as I can.

I try to never make his life hard just because mine is and never to take my anger and frustration out on him when he is not the cause.

So think about what I have said here and I hope it makes your life and theirs much better. As I said I understand completely, but they don’t and cannot though they do their best to do that.

God’s blessings on each and everyone of you!