You Don’t Have The Right to Tell Me How to Feel…

A friend of mine has a friend that wrote a blog post on this because she has cancer and people are always telling her how she should feel and so she inspired me to write my own version of this according to the disabilities I suffer.

If you are healthy and suffer nothing more than normal aches and pains, nothing more than the common colds and allergy symptoms, and nothing more than any of these things then you have no right to tell me how to feel. If you have never woke up in tears because your back is spasming so bad that you can do nothing but cry because you cannot move, and you have never felt as though someone was shoving knives under your knee caps and it hurt so bad trying to get up that you want to cry, and never felt as though someone was stabbing you every single inch of your spine and then all along your spine and across your lower back then you have absolutely no right to tell me how I should feel!

There are mornings that I have to literally force myself to get up and out of bed and there are days I am in bed more than I am up. Believe me when I say I know when you are being condescending and it angers me. You say you are my friend and yet you can treat me that way? How dare you judge me just because I am not bent over, twisted, in a wheelchair, or any other vision you might have in your head of how I should look to be disabled. For those that have seen how this has progressed and know the medical proof I have from doctors and yet you still treat me like I am a liar because I don’t look sick enough, crippled enough for you.

If all you have to say to me is things like “Well if you would just get up and move around I am sure you would feel much better.”, or ” Don’t you tale strong medication for the pain?” or “I don’t see how you can have such good posture if you are in so much pain.” and there are many more insensitive things people will say and even though I would never wish this fully on another person I do wish people like you could feel for 24 hours exactly how I feel barring that if you cannot be supportive and stop giving me your opinion on what I should do then just leave me alone because you have no clue what you are talking about.

I am at a point in my life and with my disabilities that if you cannot be a supportive and truly caring person that trusts me to know what is best for me then there simply is no room for you in my life. I simply don’t need a know it all that has never seen my MRI’s, x-rays, or any other method my doctor has used to determine my health and disabilities telling me how I should feel, act, and how to do things to benefit my overall health. It is not your place, never been your place, never will be your place to tell me anything. Yeah I know I don’t look sick to you but that doesn’t matter because if you love me like you say you do then you would believe me.

So get it through your head if you cannot stop saying those things then leave me alone I do not need your negativity in my life dragging me down into depression. I want people who will love and support me and love me the way I am with out doubt of how I feel because they know they cannot tell me how to feel since they have never endured body wide pain that even strong pain medication cannot fully stop.

 

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2 thoughts on “You Don’t Have The Right to Tell Me How to Feel…

  1. Others are quick to judge when we “look” healthy to them. I am praying for you – and we need to pray for them. Because we are who we are, we are able to feel compassion, to understand when others hurt. This is what allows us to be vulnerable, to have close relationships, to experience sympathy and empathy.
    I pray today that God would open the hearts and eyes of those who do not have the capacity for compassion, that He would create in them a desire to be close, and to see others through His eyes.

    • Yes many people are quick to judge not once considering how they would feel if it were them. Thank you very much your prayers I appreciate them. I also agree they need our prayers. I think you hit the nail on the head that society as a whole has lost its ability to feel compassion, empathy, and sympathy. I will remember to put you in my prayers and them as well. Thank you for commenting it make feel better knowing that there are people out there that do understand.

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