Judging Others on Appearances Alone…

Being a disabled person that looks completely normal on the outside I know the pain and frustration of people judging something they know nothing about, being the brunt of snide remarks, and callous rude behavior. If it was only strangers that did these things it would be easier to ignore, however that is almost never the case. It is more than hurtful when it comes from family and friends and feels very much like betrayal because if family and friends are not willing to believe you and the medical proof you have proving everything. However because our disabilities are not visible they are not believed.

Just from family and friends I have been mocked I have been made fun of and I have been told “Oh it can’t be that bad” this because I insist on standing straight no matter how much it hurts. I do this because I know walking all stooped over will only make my pain that much worse and my back could end up locked in that position. Last year I was living with a friend and I had gone to get injections in my right hip and then all the way down the outside of my right thigh to my knee. When I got back I was in a lot of pain which happens sometimes right after injections in a sensitive spot and lasts about 24 hours. So that evening the pain was so bad my pain meds were barely working and several times I was in tears and believe that doesn’t usually happen because of the fact I am always in pain. I had asked my friend to get me something which she did but then she stood holding it at the end of the sofa mocking and laughing at me telling me I could get up and get it from her if I really wanted it. Not only did it really hurt coming from a friend (one that actually saw me just days after having a stroke) it was humiliating as if I were an animal and she dangling food in front of me to get me to perform a trick for her. Although I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised since she confessed that before I had the stroke that she and her now ex husband had discussed that they both thought I was just lazy. When in fact I had been really sick because I was diabetic and didn’t know it and so on the night my blood sugar went up to 800 I had a moderate stroke in my cerebellum. She confesses this to me while I am laying in a bed fighting for my life.

Stop and think I am sure if you are at least 18 years old you have probably had something that caused you a lot of pain maybe a broken bone, a migraine, ulcers, etc. Now think about it can headache pain of any kind be seen on the outside of the body, most broken bones cannot be seen on the outside of the body, and ulcer pain can’t either. The fact is pain cannot be seen period you can sometimes see result of pain like crying, withdrawing from friends and events, bruising, etc. None of that tells you though how much pain another is in and it doesn’t tell others how much pain you are in. I am sure you would appreciate them taking your word for it even though they cannot see your pain. You might even look as normal as I do or another disabled person like me does. Try putting yourself in the place of a person that lives with severe chronic pain and knowing they do suffer everyday because no pain killer takes away all of the pain. Then they have to deal with those closest to them and supposedly loves them are mocking them, making fun of them, and thinks they are lying so is it any wonder we also suffer from depression and anxiety?

So the next time you see a person that is suppose to be disabled but looks normal just remember pain cannot be seen. Be kind and treat them as you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes and it doesn’t matter if they are a stranger, a friend, or a family member be kind to them.



9 thoughts on “Judging Others on Appearances Alone…

  1. We should never judge anyone unless we have walked in have felt every step they have went through in this life from day one, only GOD can judge. Many people in this world today look at appearance to judge a person other than what’s inside. We should overlook the outside – the flesh, the body, their face and just truly look through them – their heart and soul is their being, just like us…

    • I agree with you and I know at one time in my life I was guilty of doing that kind of judging of others. As I matured in God’s word things like this became more and more bitter and distasteful. The heart and the soul as you said is all that matters. It is what Jesus looks at and we should too, God Bless you!

      • God bless you, love. I was also guilty of judging others, and it reduce overtime as I live a repentant lifestyle consistently. When I judge someone again, I would want to say to myself “have you ever walked every step, every feeling, every emotion, every experience, every rejection, every glad times, low times…? if not, do not judge.”. Yes, the heart cannot lie truly! GOD looks at our heart, our heart is where it would be judged upon. Even when a person try to fake to be a follower of CHRIST by praying with all those perfect sentences and nice words always, but if his heart is not sincere, GOD knows…

      • I think we all go through a phase of being judgmental of others some of us are able to mature as we learn to walk with Christ and others stay in the way of the world. It is a good way that you have of reminding yourself that you have no right to judge others. I agree about God knowing our heart and when we are sincere and when we are not. Often times I stumble over my words in prayer but I know that God understands and appreciate my efforts even though they are far from perfect. As long as my intentions are sincere then God will listen to my petitions to Him.

  2. Yes, I do believe that GOD loves us even when we stumble, like what you said about prayers not being perfect. Mine is not perfect as well. I also think that even if my voice is not perfect during worshipping CHRIST, it is okay…I think GOD is happy because of a sincere heart and not how perfect a person could sing. Thinking about the love of GOD reminded me of this verse:

    Romans 8:38-39
    38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
    39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    • I honestly believe that God loves each and every voice that sings praises to Him giving Him all the glory in your songs to Him. I know as humans go my voice is far from perfect too, but to God is perfect worship of Him and so He loves all our voices.

      I love that verse and one that always reminds me that I belong to God now and forever since I have been adopted in His family through His precious son Jesus Christ.

      It is my bedtime since it is nearly 5AM here where I live. Feel free to leave a reply and I will read it when I come back here later. God Bless!

      • I am glad that the verse remind you your place in GOD. I believe GOD loves everyone, even sinners. I ran so far from GOD before I came to HIM sincerely. But HIS love never ran out of me. I cannot even put into words the amount of thankfulness that I want to praise HIM. JESUS CHRIST; YAHUSHUA alone deserves all glory and praises. I want to worship HIM, when I worship HIM it is love. It is LOVE. 🙂

        I so long for that time when I can worship GOD in truth and in spirit with that perfect voice and beautiful pure heart, for in the glorified body, our body will be sinless. I can’t wait for that day when I can humble before GOD completely and truly love HIM the way it supposed to be at the beginning.

        I think HE wants us to come “as you are”, not after. And then, let the change begin to be adjusted by GOD, through HIS constant guidance and direction from HIS HOLY SPIRIT.

        Good night and have a GOD filled day tomorrow! GOD is with you always. 😉

      • I agree I cannot wait to be called home. I cannot wait to give perfect worship, to have a perfect singing voice that will give our Father, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost all the glory forever and ever.

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