Many people look at me and find it hard to believe that I suffer from chronic pain to the point I am disabled. Part of the reason is I am stubborn and I will force my body to do what it doesn’t want to do. I laugh often and cry seldom it is because believe it or not the more you mope, whine, and complain the worse you will feel. My pain has gotten better in the past year or so mostly due to an awesome pain doctor who listens to my concerns and what does or doesn’t work. I would probably be easier if all my pain was in one place but it isn’t. I have pain from the base of my skull to my tail bone. I was born without discs in my lower spine so it has been bone on bone all of my life and at nearly 52 years old it has become to much to bear without pain medication and trigger point injections. When I was in my 30’s I was in a car accident where my right knee went through the glove box door and the left one went through the dash. This happened coming to a sudden crashing stop from 55 mph so internally my knees were wrecked. I have had both knees injected with corticosteroids and the fluid replaced in the left knee.
Since I became disabled I have had varying responses from people that I know some positive and some very negative. Believe me if you become disabled for things like pain that are not visible you will find out who your friends really are. At first when I got negativity from people it hurt and I took it personally to the point of depression. Then one day a light bulb went off and I came to the conclusion that it was foolish to become upset and depressed over people that evidently don’t care about you and are willing to judge you based on their own selfish conclusions.
You see I don’t walk all bent over I force myself to to walk tall I don’t sit around moping because I am in pain as I said earlier it only makes you feel worse. Not only that but I want no ones pity, pity is a negative thing and implies I so bad off that I deserve to be pitied and I do not want that not now not ever. I keep a positive and bright attitude towards my health problems and I feel better for it. I had a stroke 5 years ago and let me tell you the after effects of a stroke in the cerebellum can be quite entertaining. I walk like I am drunk, I get stuck saying words sometimes and it will come out something like this teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeentacles lol. I walked with a walker for a month then folded it up and put it away never to be used by me again. Then the game was on as to how many times I could catch myself before I fell. I did finally learn to walk all on my own again. Talking however is still up for debate sometimes lol.
So now for the reason for this blog and what I want it to be. I want to be able to give positive encouragement to others that suffer from chronic pain with no pity or other negativity.